It is well-lodged in the common sense of people that divorce is one of the most difficult challenges in life. No one really has it easy when it comes to dissolving a marriage. Aside from the need to have a competent Boca Raton divorce attorney or a reliable New York divorce lawyer to handle your divorce case, the psychological and emotional burden it brings is also some of the realities you must face.
Thus, it is important to know what one, who undergoes a divorce, experiences psychologically. Knowing this is not only beneficial for the parties of the divorce, it is also useful for those people who surround the parties of the divorce case.
Here, we will look into the important psychological stages of divorce as penned and discussed by Dr. Diane Neumann.
Psychological Stages of Divorce
Dr. Neumann makes it clear that the party who initiates the divorce and the one who receives the request for a divorce start on different stages at different times
The first stage of blame mainly refers to the situation wherein one spouse blames the other for all the bad things that has been happening in their lives. This stage is experienced by the spouse who initiates the dissolution of marriage while he/she is still living with the other spouse.
As for the spouse who received the request for divorce, they often go through stage one at the time when they are first informed that the other spouse wishes to end the relationship. At this stage, it is associated with disbelief, denial, and the feeling of helplessness.
The first stage is deemed as the most difficult stage among all other stages for this is where shock and fear of the unknown occurs.
This is the stage of grief. Several people who undergo this stage spend their days crying almost doing nothing else except weep. At this stage, the party acknowledges the end of the relationship. This is also the stage where the person becomes overly sensitive about comments and criticisms. Here, the party is preoccupied by his/her own feelings. Indeed, the party, at this stage, is lost in the sea of feelings.
Emotional support is essential during this stage; however, the party might still be confused as to the type of support they want to receive.
Anger is usually directed towards the other spouse during this stage. Here, the party usually fantasizes about the damnation of the spouse whether in court and proclamation of the non-initiator party as the wronged spouse. The rage is so dominant and a sense of righteousness is salient as well.
Although anger and rage envelopes the party at this stage, this is the stage where the non-initiator of divorce is most active and is willing to be engaged.
Almost seen as a second adolescence stage in life, the party, at this stage, learns to depend and trust on themselves. They realize that they do not need a man or a woman to make themselves feel complete.
At this stage, decision making comes easier compared to the previous stages. Parenting is also re-established during this level.
The final stage of divorce is the stage of settling down. Here, the party is finally in control again. Decisions and commitments that are long-term in nature are easily made during this stage as compared to the previous stages since during this final level, the person feels that he/she is in control of the present as well as the future.
The Bottom Line
Knowing these stages is entirely beneficial for it basically allows the divorced party, themselves, and the people around them to look into the many ways of mediation and other forms of healing solutions such as joining yoga, sports, healing groups, etc.